A One-Eyed View

If I was a Deputy President in any organisation remotely associated with the ANC Alliance, I’ll be afraid, very afraid, as the saying goes. First, Petrus Mothlanthe, Deputy President of South Africa and the ANC, has a dicey experience during a scheduled landing in Bangui, en-route from Libya. What was he flying in that couldn’t manage a non-stop flight? A single prop micro-light, fitted with a second-hand lawnmower engine? I suppose we must be grateful for small mercies. Didn’t his predecessor, the fat lady with the funny name, charter a Gulfstream to fly to Dubai to watch the “Dances of Cranes”?

Mothlanthe’s reported “mishap” resulted in the arrest of the air-traffic controller in Bangui. Makes you wonder. Could the controller be a Zimbabwean with close ties to Robert Mugabe? Could Mbeki be calling in favours?

The most astounding event however, remains the unfortunate and unplanned removal of the NUM Deputy President’s eye by striking NUM members. The botched operation, which was somehow kept out of the media for more than 24 hours, was apparently, like many botched circumcisions, performed by an unqualified witchdoctor. In this case, a Xhosa rock drill operator who was kicked out of Witchdoctor School after three failed attempts at the anatomy exam. A lecturer, wishing to remain anonymous for obvious reasons, said the man could not tell his backside from his elbow. Despite his inability to pass, the examination authority continued attempts to close the knowledge gap—that is the gap between the student’s knowledge and the examination standards—a process, uniquely South African and commonly known as “dumbing down”. Apparently, training authorities reached the end of their tether when the candidate failed to hand in a clean sheet of paper in his final chemistry exam.

The unfortunate aspirant witchdoctor, Doktela Coldset Uthuli, found a job on the mines but never abandoned his dream of becoming a doctor. It is here where he stole some stone-age cutting tools and other “magical” artifacts, from a display cabinet in the Geology Department, which he used in the operation on poor Piet’s eye. In the meantime Piet told associates he now has a different view of the world, a lot less complicated with fewer dimensions…a lat earth view so to speak.

To crown an eventful week , the Deputy President of the South African National Taxi Council, said to be instrumental in the MOU signed on Friday, was murdered. The Piccanin President, Juliaas, was quick to ride the BTI in honour of the fallen hero, and great ANC hope in deliberations aimed at solving Taxi/BRT fracas.

Patrick Craven, having seen the violence and mayhem, expressed his dismay at the violence perpetrated, an un-expected reaction in itself, coming from a leader who, in the past, was unable to find any indication of violent tendencies amongst COSATU members. It may just be possible that there are some unhappy people lurking around, expressing their displeasure in the only way they learnt during the struggle, and, as prominent leaders of the Alliance often reminds us, “The struggle continues, the revolution is alive and so is its methods”.

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